{"id":91,"date":"2005-12-12T21:41:31","date_gmt":"2005-12-13T03:41:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blue-monster.ath.cx\/?p=91"},"modified":"2005-12-12T21:41:31","modified_gmt":"2005-12-13T03:41:31","slug":"toaster-oven-its-just-not-going-to-work-out-with-you-and-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/?p=91","title":{"rendered":"Toaster oven, it’s just not going to work out with you and me."},"content":{"rendered":"

I lit my lunch on fire. It’s really sad, too, because we don’t have a lot of food right now, and I was really looking forward to my sandwich. At least the fire alarm didn’t go off (probably because I held a bowl over the detector whilst Ryan opened up the kitchen for some air flow). Damn you, toaster oven. That’s right, you did<\/em> see me with the deep fryer the other day, and you know what? I’m not even ashamed! I love her, and I’m not afraid to say it. She makes me happy, and doesn’t cause fires, which is more than I could ever say about you!<\/p>\n

In other news, I puked on Saturday night for the first time in over a year and 3 months. I guess that’s what happens when you have about a hundred fluid ounces of malt liquor in an evening. I’ll have to try again to validate that theory later. It’s a real shame that I’m in my third year of college and it’s only the third time that I’ve puked, but it’s an even bigger shame that in order to maintain a rather desirable once-per-year average, I’m going to have to make it through my twenty-first birthday without puking. That’s going to be a real challenge, because I hear that it’s basically everyone’s objective to make you puke on your twenty-first birthday. Oh well, I guess I’ll deal with that when I get there.<\/p>\n

In the meantime, I think I’ll go light some dinner on fire.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I lit my lunch on fire. It’s really sad, too, because we don’t have a lot of food right now, and I was really looking forward to my sandwich. At least the fire alarm didn’t go off (probably because I held a bowl over the detector whilst Ryan opened up the kitchen for some air … Continue reading Toaster oven, it’s just not going to work out with you and me.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/almost.solutions\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}