Do you want to play a game?

The other day, I ordered something on for pick-up in the store, and I was inspired to create a game out of it. I’m too chicken shit to play this game just yet, but I think it would be a good one.

What you need: A want of something that you can purchase from for pick-up in a local store, a friend, no dignity, and a sense of humor. Also, a lack of fear of imprisonment or restraining orders could be helpful.

What you do: Order something from to be picked up in your local store. Upon getting to the store, you will go wait in line to pick up your item or items and your friend will linger nearby pretending to look at shelved items. When it is your turn to pick up your order and you present your ID, credit card, and order receipt they will process your order and grab your item or items from the storage area behind them. You will then look at the items and politely tell them that you ordered [insert tasty restaurant dish here]. They will probably laugh, and you will civilly ask to send it back and get [whatever you said you ordered]. They will probably not know how to react. As they try to figure this one out, you will grow more impatient, louder, and more hysterical. “I ordered the fucking [insert dish], how hard is it for you to understand?! Just take it back and make me my goddamn [insert dish]!” Your friend will then rush over from the racks shouting something like “there you are! It’s time for your medicine, now get back to the car and you had better not give me any trouble getting into your cage, or else it’s the tazer for you!” He or she will then drag you out of the store while you make weak attempts to resist and shout nonsensical things like “but I don’t want to be a magic! Don’t make me do it!”

You will then get the fuck out of there before somebody tackles one of you and calls the cops.

They aren’t going to bring you [insert dish] in jail.